Over the years I’ve been quite the argumentative type. While this was once a badge of honor to me, the longer I live the more I’ve begun to see this isn’t a positive quality to have. Today’s podcast is dedicated to better learning the art of discussion, and preventing heated arguments.
I expand on the following 10 tips to arguing less in my podcast above. Be sure to listen for much more colorful commentary. This podcast was a collaborative effort with advice people who follow Jimmy’s Table on Facebook and Twitter provided me. These ideas are not fully my own!
The 10 Tips To Arguing Less
- Genuinely love people. If you don’t do this, you’ll probably fail at the rest. “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” ~ Becca Christiansen
- Summon your inner Mister Rogers, not your inner Muhammad Ali. Imagine which you want to be.
- Be prepared to listen. God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason.
- “Be legitimately curious about how someone came to see things the way they see them and why they want you to see things the same way.” ~ John Howey
- Extend to others the same generosity that you would want them to extend to you. You aren’t a tool, so don’t act like you are for sale at Home Depot.
- Don’t presume to know what someone “really means.” Give them the benefit of the doubt.
- Don’t argue about arguing. Apologize and humble yourself if you misspeak.
- Take your internal temperature. “I gauge my emotional state during a debate. As long as I am calm and not bothered by the opposition, I’m good. Once the other person starts getting on my nerves and my ability to laugh begins to diminish, I excuse myself. I also try to avoid certain trigger topics. Personally, I can handle a healthy debate about most anything, but there are certain topics I tend to get heated about so I try and keep those on the back burner as much as possible.” ~ Corey Forsyth
- Always have an off ramp in mind, and exit the conversation gracefully. David Whichard said, “I have always learned to walk away when I realize there are going to be no winners.”
- “Don’t feel the need to BE RIGHT even when you are right.” ~ Mike Bryant / Connor Lambert. Be prepared to let someone else have the last word and final say.