Jimmy’s Table PodcastCuriously evangelical. Politically homeless. A dreamer of small things. On this podcast, I am having conversations about the intersection of faith, life, and culture.

I Want To Argue Less (10 Tips) – Episode #45

Arguing - Alexander Hamilton Pistol Duel

Over the years I’ve been quite the argumentative type. While this was once a badge of honor to me, the longer I live the more I’ve begun to see this isn’t a positive quality to have. Today’s podcast is dedicated to better learning the art of discussion, and preventing heated arguments.

I expand on the following 10 tips to arguing less in my podcast above. Be sure to listen for much more colorful commentary. This podcast was a collaborative effort with advice people who follow Jimmy’s Table on Facebook and Twitter provided me. These ideas are not fully my own!

The 10 Tips To Arguing Less

  1. Genuinely love people. If you don’t do this, you’ll probably fail at the rest. “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” ~ Becca Christiansen
  2. Summon your inner Mister Rogers, not your inner Muhammad Ali. Imagine which you want to be.
  3. Be prepared to listen. God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason.
  4. “Be legitimately curious about how someone came to see things the way they see them and why they want you to see things the same way.” ~ John Howey
  5. Extend to others the same generosity that you would want them to extend to you. You aren’t a tool, so don’t act like you are for sale at Home Depot.
  6. Don’t presume to know what someone “really means.” Give them the benefit of the doubt.
  7. Don’t argue about arguing. Apologize and humble yourself if you misspeak.
  8. Take your internal temperature. “I gauge my emotional state during a debate. As long as I am calm and not bothered by the opposition, I’m good. Once the other person starts getting on my nerves and my ability to laugh begins to diminish, I excuse myself. I also try to avoid certain trigger topics. Personally, I can handle a healthy debate about most anything, but there are certain topics I tend to get heated about so I try and keep those on the back burner as much as possible.” ~ Corey Forsyth
  9. Always have an off ramp in mind, and exit the conversation gracefully. David Whichard said, “I have always learned to walk away when I realize there are going to be no winners.”
  10. “Don’t feel the need to BE RIGHT even when you are right.” ~ Mike Bryant / Connor Lambert. Be prepared to let someone else have the last word and final say.

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